Day 49

I stay up all night, keeping an eye on Lauren. She insists that it is only a cold, but I am skeptical. I have my machete near me, not knowing what to expect and sit with her. Talking and trying to keep myself awake. Dawn comes in and checks on my near three in the morning.

"What do you think?" she whispers, while we go into the back room for some water we'd stored.

"I don't know. It's hard to say, but I think she's getting worse. I just don't know."

"Why don't you have Josh take over watching?"

"I don't think I'd be able to sleep regardless. I'll sleep in the car once they've been dropped off at UVU." She looks worried, but says nothing. She hugs me and holds tight for some time and I hold her back, wishing so bad to forget the world we live in and to be lost in her arms. I hope silently that when we move apart we are in our back room on a cool February day with the boys playing together in the living room and chicken nuggets cooking in the oven. But we do pull away, and it is dark and our house is crowded with family and friends--other "survivors", whatever that now means, and I am sure that we both feel so very alone.

There is a loud cough from the living room and I start to hear gagging. I rush in as Lauren calls my name. I grab a mixing bowl in a cupboard and hold it under her. Dawn grabs her hair and holds it back as she throws up. I am convinced, and I am sad because of it. Because, somehow, we are going to have to deal with it. And some how I am going to have to tell her friends.

* * *

We decide, because of Lauren, that we will not be going to UVU today, and I try to explain, while Lauren was still present that we just wanted to make sure she was  going to be OK, and wanted to help take care of her. We set up a makeshift bed in our back room for her and after she had laid down we closed the door and I pulled Dean and Ann aside.

"Have either of you ever seen a person change into a zombie?" I ask, looking at both of them in turn.

"No . . ." Dean says, "We've never known anyone who got bit."

"It's just been us, really," Ann adds.

"Well, I think that you can get infected by something airborne."

"Is that why your friend . . . er, Charlotte is always wearing a mask?" Dean asks, but already knows the answer.

"Yes." There is a pause while I think of how to break the news to them and finally just blurt it out, "I think Lauren has been infected."

"But there was no," Ann stops and looks towards the door that leads to the back room. "How do you know?"

"I've seen it before. About a month ago, someone who was traveling with us got infected and had the same symptoms that took on just as fast." I can tell they are both getting annoyed with me, but I press on. "We need to do something about it. But I think she is the one that should decide. So listen," Dean had tried to interrupt but I didn't let him, "I think it would be best if one of you talked to her."

"How much time?" Ann asks.

"I don't know. With Jacob, the other that got infected it took about twenty-four hours."

"So . . . by tonight?"

"It's possible. I'm really really sorry, but I need you to talk to her. I have to think of how to best protect my family."

They both nod, but do not move. I leave them then, allowing them some time to process this. I talk to Dawn and hand her a medical mask. She takes one and grabs another for Seeley. I then make sure Charlotte is wearing one. She, of course, is. When I walk back out into the living room both Ann and Dean are gone. I assume they are in the back. I can hear some soft whimpers coming from the door that leads back there.

I finally, drudgingly make my way to the bed in Dawn and my bed room. I am exhausted and need sleep, especially if we are going to need to be on watch all night when Lauren turns.

My last thought before quickly drifting off to sleep is of hugging Dawn. I don't know what I would do without her. I don't think I could make it through all of this alone. She is out of the room, watching the kids and chatting with Charlotte and in some ways I can see a family, just having fun, hanging out over the weekend, chatting and enjoying each others company. I wonder if it is the weekend. It must be, I think and fall asleep, finally letting my mind rest.