Day 36

It is dark; sometime in the middle of the night. We find a parking garage and drive up about three stories before pulling into a stall and park the car. No body talks. Josh, Connor and I just keep to our own thoughts. Chad is dead. And who would have thought it would be from a human. A non-zombie. Even during everything that has happened in the last month, humanity is no better than it was before. In fact, it may just be worse.

I am sick inside and hold Connor, who has now fallen asleep, close to my chest. He gives me some comfort in all of this. Chad did not die pointlessly. He provided away for my son to escape. I feel that I owe him a great debt. I wish his family could have been with us. I think things would have been different. I can't help but think that we'd all still be together. But now Chad is gone and my wife and son and even Charlotte are separated from us by an entire city.

I look over at Josh and he is asleep. I can't blame him. I know I will be asleep soon. I am emotionally drained and want nothing more than to leave everything behind. Forget everything that happened today, and since a few days ago, and a month ago. I lean the chair back slowly as to not wake up Connor, and finally drift off into a sleep filled with blood, murder and death. Chad found his way into my dreams. He stood with Crystal, holding hands, Clive somewhere playing behind them when they turn, looking dreadfully at me and leave me, alone and tired and sobbing.

* * *

I woke several times in the night. Partially from discomfort but mostly because of the reoccurring dreams. Connor was still asleep and so, after slowly raising my chair up a bit I looked out over the city in the morning light.

The sun is just coming up, peaking around buildings and leaving long shadows on the streets. There are few cars on the road, many speeding much faster than I felt was wise, especially in a city. In fact it was bizarre how every car was speeding down the small road in back of the parking garage. Two men suddenly ran out in the middle of the road. They stopped, looking quickly both ways and threw two large rocks at a class door. There was an alarm sounding but they ignored it, walking into the building. As they walked in another car drove by, the driver not bothering to put the brakes on at all.

Moments later they came out with two bags filled with something and walked down the road a ways and were out of sight. The alarm still sounded but no cops ever came.

Soon Josh woke up. He looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. The same sadness that I had seen while he tried to explain to Chad what had happened to his family. I felt as though I had that same sadness. We acknowledged it and he said, "we need to keep going."

And I said, "I know."

He crawled back and grabbed two pistols, my bag and Chad's katana. I put my bag at my feet, the machete still connected, I position it so I can grab it if I need to. Josh wedges the katana between the floor and dashboard console and then leaned it against the center tray. The pistols were placed on the tray as well. He looks at me, pulling out and says, "I'm going to start by going back to that building . . . if I can find it, and see if they go back and, I don't know, wait for us . . ." He ended it like he was asking a question.

"It's worth a shot. I don't know where else we could find them to be honest."

We drive down the spiral garage and pull out onto the street. The streets are trashed. I hadn't noticed the night before, but now, we see trash and clothes and random objects littering the streets. From a ways down we see what looks like protests. I roll my window down slightly and can hear the angry shouts. There is gun fire from somewhere and I roll the window up again.

"We need to get out of this city as soon as possible," I say, and Josh agrees.

He retraces his steps, trying to find the building we'd escaped from. It takes nearly an hour, having gotten lost, and then we had to avoid several violent mobs and protesters. I was curious what it was they were protesting and wondered if they too were trapped in this city. Not allowed to leave. In some of the groups there are military police (or that is what I would guess they are). They marshaled the crowds and in one we watched them throw tear gas into the crowd. For the most part, however, we were ignored. It wasn't a cut and dry, "if you're not with us then you're against us," mentality, but more of a desire for justice from those who could bring it.

Eventually we make it to the building. We do not drive directly up to it, but rather park some blocks away, hiding the Hummer as best we can, and walk to a building where we could see anyone near the building. I have a pistol in my bag, and my machete. Connor is holding my hand while Josh leads the way. He breaks down the door to the building after trying it. It seemed abandoned; and it was. We climbed several stories before going into an office building  and setting up a chair by the window.

* * *

We watched the entire day but never saw them. We barely saw anyone. We did not talk much. Any death is hard to deal with, but in the situation we were and are in, it seems worse. After dark I walk down, alone, to the Hummer to check on it and to grab some blankets. I hope to see Dawn around a corner, or hear Seeley cry, but I hear nothing. I grab some blankets and bring them back up. Making a bed for Connor.

"We'll find Mommy and your brother soon, buddy," I tell him after we've sang and I've told him a story. "We just have to wait a bit."

"Mommy and B-seeye come back tomorrow?" He calls Seeley, "B-seele" for baby Seeley.

"I sure hope so."

"Where did they go?"

"I think they are just trying to be safe, Connor." I pull a blanket over him. "Now go to sleep, OK. I'll be here, right by the window. Try to close your eyes."

He closes them and I sing one more song before standing and walking to a chair by the window next to Josh. "We'll find them tomorrow, Josh."

We chat for an hour or so and then he goes and lays down by Connor. I keep watch for much of the night. Hoping to still somehow see the three forms emerge from an alley, waiting for us to run down and meet them, and save them.