Day 14

The group decides to stay in the building for a few days. If not longer. I am anxious to get moving. I need to get to Dawn but I can tell Josh is glad we're staying for a while. He looks, how I am sure I look, exhausted. We have been traveling for two weeks almost non-stop and need the break. I know it, I just don't like it.

I did not sleep last night. Dreams of killing men. I am always in the same spot: hidden by cars on the highway in the Sierra's. I turn around, take aim and fire. The world turns red and I am forced to run. But I slip on the red. On the blood. The blood from the man I killed.

I didn't sleep after that. I just lay there, thinking. Maybe it was from the stress of the last few days. I am not sure but I can only hope that tonight I will be able to get some rest.

Josh and I, as well as Ray have decided to go back to Costco to stock up on food so we can stay in the building as long as we need. I have fears that no one will want to leave, with the security of a tall building, and right next to Costco at that. It may be worth it to stay. But I have my wife to think about . . . and my kids.

We make our way to Costco, not seeing any zombies. It looks different than it did the day before. The blood had pooled under each of the dead and is dry towards the edges. I have brought by bag this time, and placing only clips in it for me as Josh has done the same. Living in one place makes you think differently. Even after a day. We both have two MRE's, clips and our machete's sticking out of the top. My M21 is in my hands, and I walk through the gore and fallen items to the far end of the store where food is kept.

Wheeling a cart around, Josh starts to load up on cereal, non-refrigerated soy milk, snacks, jerky, and other things along those lines. As he does that, I go over to where camping gear would be held, walking past the aisle where many of the zombies were cut down my Josh and I. I grab several small cooking stoves and many propane tanks. Carrying the bunch in my arms I drop them in the filling cart across the store.

"Should we get a TV?" Josh says, pointing towards the displays of large and small television.

"Anything good on?" I ask.

"Probably not."

Ray brings by some books and clothes, as well as towels and hygiene supplies. We load it all into the cart and start to walk out, again, Josh and I carrying the--now significantly heavier--cart.

"It's pretty lucky you guys found your brother," Ray says as we walk through the store. "How long did it take you to get out here?"

"About two weeks," Josh replies. "Maybe a bit less."

"How fast did it hit here?" I ask. We had left before anything had really happened. Before the infection had spread. There was panic, but the city was not abandoned, dead or empty. It had only been a day later that Reno was emptied. I wanted to know if that was average, or accelerated.

"It only took a day for people to either be infected or evacuate. Most going north, I believe."

"Probably two or three days in larger cities," Josh added.

"So," I say, slowly, thinking of that this means, "everywhere by now could be over run." The thought is staggering and breathtaking.

"It was horrible," Ray starts, staring down the street as we exit Costco. "At first there were riots. Just people freaking out, looting, or trying to get away from the city. Even the law enforcement stopped caring. And that was all within a day. By the end of that same day a couple hundred were infected and by the next morning everyone had left or was turned. It was that fast. The few of us, like me or Chad and his family we lucky. We saw what was happening and we hid. I guess we all had similar ideas that Costco could protect us and keep us alive but even that failed eventually.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to get over that, or explain how terrifying it was. I lost my wife. We had been married for two months. And within the first few hours of that second morning she was bit."

He paused here. There was movement near us. I could hear it. But no one else seemed to care, and I blew it off.

"I don't know if you've seen that happen to anyone before. She came down with a fever in minutes. And within an hour she was dead. There was no heart-beat or breath. She was gone. And then she woke up again. Her eyes opened and she stared at me for several seconds. But there was something wrong. She wasn't there. It was as if I was looking at a ghost with blank eyes. She was empty. She began to move and soon had her hands around my neck and she tried to bite me, pulling me down. I . . ."

He turns to us and there are tears in his eyes. "I'm not sure if it is worth living this life anymore." I turn and look at Josh after Ray looks forward again. I begin to say something but stop myself. There is nothing to say. On some level I agree. But I can't give up like that. I have my wife and kids and family that I must protect and find. This man, however, has nothing. And I do not envy him for that. I pity him.

It is uneventful the entire way back and seems as though the city-suburb has been truly emptied.  We unload and I lay down. Hoping for sleep that I did not get last night, but it never comes. Eventually I get back up. It is nearing evening, and if there is any hope for me to sleep tonight a nap would ruin that. And so I stay awake and play a game of cards with Josh and Crystal. It takes my mind off of my pressing urgency to get back on the move. I am grateful for that.

Chad and I talk about going out tomorrow. Trying to find weapons as well as going back to his house to grab the bike and the rest of our supplies. We'll leave tomorrow, I think, and I am already anxious to get our supplies back. That's all I have left of my previous life. It's something nostalgic.

Eventually, I lay back down on my makeshift bed and once again try to get some rest.